My beautiful children

My good friend Lauren at lwnphotography.com took these pictures of the kids at the Dallas Arboretum 2 weeks ago. Its taken me this long to post them! I'm so thrilled with how they turned out! The kids did awesome despite a little bit of fake smiles by the oldest 2, lol.

Notice what happened in this next picture.......

Owen pee'd! All over me and on poor Audreys head! She wasnt too thrilled.

We have smiles!

Here is Owen smiling. He started smiling last Friday at 2 weeks old. Yes, I know thats really early but let me reassure you...this is my 4th baby and I know the difference between a gas smile and a real smile. ;) Although this isnt the best picture its the only one Ive been able to capture so far. Everytime Mr Man smiles and I pull the camera out from hiding to snap it he stops and is too distracted by the red light to continue smiling at me. Now whenever he wakes up from sleeping as soon as he sees me smiling and looking at him he just starts grinning away! Its so sweet! I love this little guy!
So, for now, here is the picture of Owen smiling :)

2 weeks old!

Ready for a picture overload?!?!

Owen is now 2 weeks old and I realized I havent updated this blog with pictures since his birth! Im sorry to those friends and family who arent on Facebook bc I always forget to update this bc I figure most people have already seen the pics over there. (on FB) I'll try and get better so yall can keep up with the goings ons in our lives better!
Owen is such a great baby! Rarely cries and sleeps wonderfully! Hes only waking once a night to eat. While I would never recommend letting an infant sleep that long to someone whos trying to breastfeed, bc it can affect your supply, I figure since I was so still so recently nursing Audrey my milk is still pretty much established. And...letting him sleep hasnt affected my supply so yippee! I get sleep! :) Hes also a very alert little guy. When hes awake hes just looking around or focusing on whoever is holding him.
I think one of the most asked questions is...how is Audrey doing? Audrey is doing really well actually. Shes handling not being the baby anymore great. She hasnt shown jealousy towards the baby and loves being close to him.
Elisa and Ava are HUGE helps. Honestly, I dont know how I would manage having babies 21 months apart if I didnt have my 2 big girls to help. They'll grab me diapers and wipes when I need them or hold the baby when I need to run potty and hes fussing. They never complain about being helpers and are always ready to help with happy attitudes. (well when it comes to helping with baby stuff at least! lol)

Owen Matthew has arrived!

Well Owen has finally made his entrance into the world!! Heres a birth story to let you know how everything went. Hopefully this isnt too long and full of too many details. I'll try and limit the TMI. :)

I went in Thursday morning at 42 weeks to have a low dose induction so I could have a VBA3C. I was started on a very low dose of pitocin, which wasnt how I had planned on going into labor. But given that I was 42 weeks and nothing was happening we just all felt it was the best option. My other option would have been a repeat c/s which I did not want.
I started out dilated to about a 1, but this was with the Dr forcing that. Baby was about a +3 station and I was about 50% effaced. Not the greatest news being 42 weeks but oh well. I labored on the Pit for 11 hours before the Dr checked me again. He wanted to give me all the time he could to make some progress. The nurse I had was AWESOME and they honored my birth plan as much as was possible considering it was starting out not being the natural labor I had hoped for. I changed positions as much as possible to help things along and stay comfortable.

After 11 hours the Dr came back and checked me. I had made absolutely no progress after contractions that were 3-4 mins apart. NONE. I had wondered why my internal checks were always so uncomfortable (well theyre NEVER comfortable) and it seemed he had to go really far up to check my cervix but just thought thats how it was supposed to be. At this point he sat down with my hubby, me and my mom (who made it up there just in time to help us make the decision). I didnt have our doula with us at this time bc I kept waiting to see how I was making progress before having her come sit and wait it out with us when nothing was really happening even though she kept reminding me it was her job. I still felt like it could be a waste of time. So he gave me 3 options along with reminding me he was a patient man and we'd do whatever I wanted to.

Option 1) go ahead and do a c/s bc of the lack of progress through 11 hours of laboring on the Pit and being 42 weeks pregnant.
Option 2) break my water (at only 1 centimeter) and see if that helped anything along
Option 3) go home, wait a few more days and see if anything happened.

At first he didnt give his opinion, he wanted us to make our own decision but after much hounding he gave in. He said Ive labored a long time and made no progress, which is not what we wanted and not a good thing considering I was 42 weeks. He then said that I have a tilted uterus and the babies head was on the wrong side of my pelvic bone, which is why his head wasnt engaging and helping to open me up. He was hoping that labor might reposition things. He also said thats why it was so hard and painful to reach my cervix. With the option of breaking my water he could then push his head up and over my pelvic bone and into the birth canal but there was no guarantee it would stay that way. And we could be back in the same spot 5 hours from now after more labor. He also said he felt nothing prompting his spirit to continue on with this VBAC, as much as we and he wanted it to be successful. We really trusted his opinion bc of his strong faith and the fact he reminded us often that he prays for wisdom and guidance in these births. So, as much as I wanted to VBAC we decided in the end a repeat c-section was the best option. Now I know this is exactly what happened with Elisa as well. Why that Dr never figured out the problem I dont know. Although my Dr didnt tell us before this time I think he knew since he checked me at 39 weeks and was just hoping that the end of pregnancy it would move into the proper position. I appreciated the fact that he allowed me to labor to see if that made it get into position without just discouraging trying and sending us straight to the OR.
So, with that decision made we were prepped and ready for a c/s within abut 45 mins. I was very nervous about the surgery even though I had already been through it 3 previous times. I felt nauseous while they were giving me the spinal so he put some Zophran (sp?) into my IV. That helped. Then during the surgery there was a certain point in my belly where I could feel what was going on. It wasnt awful pain but it wasnt only tugging, pushing and pulling like it should have been either. So, he gave me some medicine through a gas mask to make me sleepy but not asleep. I did not like this feeling at all and did not want to be out when Owen was finally here. I remember fighting falling asleep and the loss of control. I was holding Dereks hand and I remember my hand going limp in his and thinking Please Lord dont let me fall asleep Im afraid I wont wake up. Of course that wasnt true but for some reason at the time with the loss of control I was having the thought was there. I remember the anesthesiologist saying "Lindsay are you ok? Lindsay?" I finally managed to wiggle the mask off my face, lol. Derek told me afterwards that when all that was happening he was kinda scared as well.
Finally Owen was born, at 8:10 pm, to which everyone commented "Omgosh Hes huge". This was the exact same things I heard when Elisa was born. The anesthesiologist also informed me had had kidney function bc by the time he was taken from me to the warmer he had already sprayed 2 nurses :)
Derek went to the nursery with him to make sure they followed our wishes on no eye ointment and no Hep B shot and of course no bottles. Well, he also went to be there with Owen ;) The nurses in the OR couldnt resist anymore and called the nursery to check his stats.
10 lbs 9 oz
21 3/4 in long
15.5 in chest and
14.5 in head.
He was a big boy!
They finished closing me up and wheeled me to recovery. I was told I had to stay there for an hour but as long as baby was doing fine and maintaining his temp they would bring him in to nurse. Once in recovery they began the Pit to help shrink my uterus back. I was so glad that Hannah, my doula, was there with me in recovery while Derek was with Owen. All of a sudden my heart started racing and pounding. I told the nurse and she agreed that my heart rate was fast. It was normally in the 90s and was currently between about 145-160 and wouldnt slow down. She told me to take deep breaths and relax so I tried. BUt that didnt work. They brought Owen in and she thought sitting up and nursing him would help me to calm down and slow my heart rate. As she sat me up I was getting light headed and told her I wouldnt be able to hold him (for fear of dropping him bc I felt weak). So, she layed me back down. They called my Dr in and he looked concerned watching the monitor and my heart rate not going down. He told them to turn down the Pit and then asked if I had seen my baby yet? THey told him what had happened and he said well lay the baby next to her and let her feed him, she needs to nurse her baby that will help her relax. (Can I just say what a great Dr!) So thats what they did. It did help my heart rate to drop the 140s and 130s consistently until the Pit was stopped.
Owen latched on and nursed like a pro. Considering his size Im sure he was already hungry, lol.
We finally got to go back to our room and introduce the girls to their new brother. They fell in love and were so excited he was finally here! Even Audrey was super excited about "baby brober."
The nursing staff at this hospital was awesome. They let me have jello and juice right after surgery, every other time Ive had to wait until the next day. That in itself made me feel so much better since i hadnt eaten since about 6 am.
Owen has continued to want to nurse constantly but Im ok with that bc hes a big boy and I know the more hes nursing the quicker my milk is going to come in and then he'll be satisfied! The discharged us and let us go home less than 48 hours after the surgery, which was awesome.
Even though I had all my ideals going into this labor and birth and really nothing went as planned Im so grateful that the Lord brought me to a Dr who allowed me to try as hard as I did for this VBA3C. He let me go to 42 week and let me have a trial of labor which most Drs wouldnt dream of doing esp if they thought I'd still end up with a c/s in the end. Im disappointed but Im at peace with it all, just like I prayed I would be if it didnt go "my way". I must also admit being somewhat small framed, 5'1 and about 110 lbs pre-preggo, the thought of a 10.5 lb baby with a 15.5 inch chest coming vaginally makes me wonder how much damage I would have suffered. Also, the nurses made the comment he would have probably had shoulder dystcia bc of his size. Whether or not thats true, the thought that he could have is scary!
In the end we're home with a big (literally) beautiful baby boy blessing all to the glory of God!!!!

Yes, Im still pregnant

As much as I would LOOOOVEEEE to not be pregnant anymore, and have little Owen here with us, I am still pregnant.
Although Im *only* 40 weeks 2 days at this point I am getting very anxious and impatient. My last 2 pregnancies didnt last past 38 weeks and I only went 2 more days (than I am now) with Elisa before being induced. I am trying to trust in the Lords timing.....but am constantly reminding Him that I really am done being pregnant ;)
We walked over 2 miles today. Doesnt seem like much but when youre this pregnant and 50+ lbs heavier than normal you'd think that that much walking would do something. But, as soon as we're done walking any contractions Im having tapper off. UGH!
Please pray for me to endure the rest of this time being pregnant. God is good and I know Owen will come in His perfect timing, I just dont feel I can wait much longer! LOL

Happy Birthday Elisa....the dangers of Pit

Today we're celebrating the birth of our oldest daughter Elisa. It was 8 years ago today that she made her entrance into the world and forever changed Derek and my lives. To look back and see how God has used the birth of that little baby to transform our future is truly amazing. God is good.
As I sit and think about her birth day, other than getting to FINALLY have her here with us, I cant say I recall that great of a day. I was on day 4 (yes you read that right) of a failed induction done much too early when my body obviously wasnt ready. After being prepped with cervidil and pumped with Pitocin all day Friday we were sent home because nothing was happening. We were told to come back on Sunday afternoon July 8th (Dereks bday) and we would start the process all over again. So, the cervidil was inserted again and the pit was started...again. By Monday afternoon (yes the next day) I was showing no signs of progress so they decided to stop the pit and let me eat to regain some energy. By that night I was back on the pit. By early Tuesday morning I still was making very very little progress even with all the uping of the Pit they were doing. So, of course *rolls eyes* the logical thing was to break my water....that should get things rolling. By this time poor little Elisa had had Pitocin contractions off and on for 4 days. When they broke my water it wasnt clear (it had merconium). So, that signaled baby was in distress. The next step was a c-section.
First, let me say this. When someone found out which Dr I was using and the fact I was on Medicaid the comment was made "oh you;'re using him? he loves doing c-sections for Medicaid patients" to which I replied "uh I dont think so. I will not end up with a c/s". Little did I know.
I was so uninformed and uneducated about everything childbirth related that I didnt realize the dangers of being induced. I just trusted this Dr blindly. Ugh.
Well, once it was decided that I would have a c/s I was whisked away to the OR and given a spinal block to which I was NOT told what they were doing. It wasnt until I felt a "bee sting" in my bottom that I jumped and was told to be still, they were putting a spinal block in. Gee..thanks for telling me. I guess thats the treatment you get when you're 18 and giving birth and your husband isnt allowed back there to support you. Derek was finally allowed back there once I was strapped to the table...crying bc I had never envisioned myself getting a c/s. Elisa was eventually pulled out, which of course I couldnt see bc of the sheet hanging, to which everyone in the OR was exclaiming "omgosh look at those feet, looks at those hands, shes huge!" "No wonder she wasnt coming, her head is huge". All Im thinking is WTHeck have I given birth too!? They held her over the sheet and I fell in love with that short, fat little baby girl :) (for the record she was 9lbs 2 oz and 19 1/2 inches long)
After that quick glance she was taken away for her APGAR reading and whatever else they deemed necessary to do to her while I was taken to "recovery". I was in there for a loooong time...shaking and itching the entire time. Finally I was allowed to be taken to a room and eventually (we're talking about a total of 3 hours later) Elisa was brought to the room so we could finally meet. Along with Elisa came an entourage of other people. So, Derek and I never got the opportunity to bond as a family....just the 3 of us, right away like is said to be so important right after birth.
After all of these people being in my room for awhile my mom and I finally decided it was time to give nursing a shot and shooed everyone out of the room. She was a pro! Finally one thing went right that day! I am so blessed to have never had nursing issues with that sweet little baby. Even after our prolonged meeting.
In hindsight I see everything that went wrong and was done wrong over the course of those 4 days. Its a miracle I ever wanted to "give birth" again! But I did and I went on to have Ava and Audrey via re-peat c/s bc of course I was told it was "too dangerous" and my babies were too big to have them vaginally. What a bunch of horse poo!
After my recovery from my 3rd c/s with Audrey being so bad I knew that if we had anymore kids....things would be different. So, I started educating myself on VBACs (Vaginal births after c-sections) and VBA3C (vag birth after 3 c/s) in my case. I found out that the chance of uterin ruputure is only .05-.2%. THATS IT! I also came to the conclusion, through reading birth stories and talking with others, that its very rare that God will create a baby in a women that she cant birth herself. Makes sense, doesnt it?? God doesnt make mistakes!
So, here I am 8 years later...to the day of all that mess but ultimately recieving our first blessing, waiting on our fourth blessing to arrive. He will come into this world in a completely different way. In a way that I have planned and doing things through birth that are my wishes...not just blindly allowing a Dr to make all the calls. And, in the end if everything doesnt go exactly as planned I know that I have given it all to the Lord and whatever happens is all in my best interest.
I thought it was appropriate today to link to a post by Jenn over at Knitted in the Womb. Shes from one of my yahoo VBAC support groups and has shared so much wisdom and info about VBACing and natural childbirth, and has a great blog to help educate others on these things.

HAPPY 8th BIRTHDAY ELISA!!

3 more weeks?

Just thought I should start off clarifying that the pregnancy ticker on the right side of this blog is incorrect. I wish I only had 3 days until my EDD but in actuality I have 7. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel at this point! The most I have left is 3 weeks from today!! So.now.we.wait.
Since I'm trying for a VBAC3C I can't be induced. It raises the (very very slight) risk of uterin rupture when you pump the artificial hormones (pitocin) in to induce labor. So, we have to let it take place completely naturally. I was getting really discouraged bc while I had mentally prepared this entire time to go to 42 weeks and have a 10 lb baby (and anything less would be great!) everyone around me keeps making the "theres no way you can make it to 40 weeks" remarks. So, I started thinking hey maybe I'll have this baby early. But, so far...no such luck. We even went walking one night last week at 7 pm when it was still 103 degrees outside. Talk about desperation. We walked a 1.25 miles in that heat! Well the girls rode their bikes, Derek and I walked. Anyways, no amount of walking, evening prime rose oil or anything else seems to be kicking me into labor.
I was kinda discouraged the other day after my Drs appt, (I mean c'mon who really wants to be scheduling their 40 week appt?!?) but as Derek and I were talking the Lord suddenly (ha) reminded me of Phillipians 4:6-7.

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I love how the Lord will remind you of the most perfect scripture at the most perfect times! Ive been listening to everyone else and letting the anxiety of when labor will happen creep in. But here the Lord reminds me not to do that. To trust in Him, pray about it and His peace will fill me. I'll take it Lord!!! So, now we wait...patiently. Remembering that we gave this pregnancy to Him in the first place. Knowing that when I got pregnant it would be in HIS perfect timing...so why would I think that this baby wont come in His perfect timing as well?! I guess if that means I'm pregnant for another 3 weeks then so be it. I guess that also means that I trust that if Owen doesnt come in the next 3 weeks and I have to end up with a repeat c-section the Lord is still in control and knows best. He knows that there are man made laws my Dr has to abide by even if he doesnt think theyre right. I think that would officially fall into the "not wanting to trust" category for me though. But, God knows how bad I want to VBA3C, so I'll just trust.....and wait.