Friday, July 17, 2009

Yes, Im still pregnant

As much as I would LOOOOVEEEE to not be pregnant anymore, and have little Owen here with us, I am still pregnant.
Although Im *only* 40 weeks 2 days at this point I am getting very anxious and impatient. My last 2 pregnancies didnt last past 38 weeks and I only went 2 more days (than I am now) with Elisa before being induced. I am trying to trust in the Lords timing.....but am constantly reminding Him that I really am done being pregnant ;)
We walked over 2 miles today. Doesnt seem like much but when youre this pregnant and 50+ lbs heavier than normal you'd think that that much walking would do something. But, as soon as we're done walking any contractions Im having tapper off. UGH!
Please pray for me to endure the rest of this time being pregnant. God is good and I know Owen will come in His perfect timing, I just dont feel I can wait much longer! LOL

Friday, July 10, 2009

Happy Birthday Elisa....the dangers of Pit

Today we're celebrating the birth of our oldest daughter Elisa. It was 8 years ago today that she made her entrance into the world and forever changed Derek and my lives. To look back and see how God has used the birth of that little baby to transform our future is truly amazing. God is good.
As I sit and think about her birth day, other than getting to FINALLY have her here with us, I cant say I recall that great of a day. I was on day 4 (yes you read that right) of a failed induction done much too early when my body obviously wasnt ready. After being prepped with cervidil and pumped with Pitocin all day Friday we were sent home because nothing was happening. We were told to come back on Sunday afternoon July 8th (Dereks bday) and we would start the process all over again. So, the cervidil was inserted again and the pit was started...again. By Monday afternoon (yes the next day) I was showing no signs of progress so they decided to stop the pit and let me eat to regain some energy. By that night I was back on the pit. By early Tuesday morning I still was making very very little progress even with all the uping of the Pit they were doing. So, of course *rolls eyes* the logical thing was to break my water....that should get things rolling. By this time poor little Elisa had had Pitocin contractions off and on for 4 days. When they broke my water it wasnt clear (it had merconium). So, that signaled baby was in distress. The next step was a c-section.
First, let me say this. When someone found out which Dr I was using and the fact I was on Medicaid the comment was made "oh you;'re using him? he loves doing c-sections for Medicaid patients" to which I replied "uh I dont think so. I will not end up with a c/s". Little did I know.
I was so uninformed and uneducated about everything childbirth related that I didnt realize the dangers of being induced. I just trusted this Dr blindly. Ugh.
Well, once it was decided that I would have a c/s I was whisked away to the OR and given a spinal block to which I was NOT told what they were doing. It wasnt until I felt a "bee sting" in my bottom that I jumped and was told to be still, they were putting a spinal block in. Gee..thanks for telling me. I guess thats the treatment you get when you're 18 and giving birth and your husband isnt allowed back there to support you. Derek was finally allowed back there once I was strapped to the table...crying bc I had never envisioned myself getting a c/s. Elisa was eventually pulled out, which of course I couldnt see bc of the sheet hanging, to which everyone in the OR was exclaiming "omgosh look at those feet, looks at those hands, shes huge!" "No wonder she wasnt coming, her head is huge". All Im thinking is WTHeck have I given birth too!? They held her over the sheet and I fell in love with that short, fat little baby girl :) (for the record she was 9lbs 2 oz and 19 1/2 inches long)
After that quick glance she was taken away for her APGAR reading and whatever else they deemed necessary to do to her while I was taken to "recovery". I was in there for a loooong time...shaking and itching the entire time. Finally I was allowed to be taken to a room and eventually (we're talking about a total of 3 hours later) Elisa was brought to the room so we could finally meet. Along with Elisa came an entourage of other people. So, Derek and I never got the opportunity to bond as a family....just the 3 of us, right away like is said to be so important right after birth.
After all of these people being in my room for awhile my mom and I finally decided it was time to give nursing a shot and shooed everyone out of the room. She was a pro! Finally one thing went right that day! I am so blessed to have never had nursing issues with that sweet little baby. Even after our prolonged meeting.
In hindsight I see everything that went wrong and was done wrong over the course of those 4 days. Its a miracle I ever wanted to "give birth" again! But I did and I went on to have Ava and Audrey via re-peat c/s bc of course I was told it was "too dangerous" and my babies were too big to have them vaginally. What a bunch of horse poo!
After my recovery from my 3rd c/s with Audrey being so bad I knew that if we had anymore kids....things would be different. So, I started educating myself on VBACs (Vaginal births after c-sections) and VBA3C (vag birth after 3 c/s) in my case. I found out that the chance of uterin ruputure is only .05-.2%. THATS IT! I also came to the conclusion, through reading birth stories and talking with others, that its very rare that God will create a baby in a women that she cant birth herself. Makes sense, doesnt it?? God doesnt make mistakes!
So, here I am 8 years the day of all that mess but ultimately recieving our first blessing, waiting on our fourth blessing to arrive. He will come into this world in a completely different way. In a way that I have planned and doing things through birth that are my wishes...not just blindly allowing a Dr to make all the calls. And, in the end if everything doesnt go exactly as planned I know that I have given it all to the Lord and whatever happens is all in my best interest.
I thought it was appropriate today to link to a post by Jenn over at Knitted in the Womb. Shes from one of my yahoo VBAC support groups and has shared so much wisdom and info about VBACing and natural childbirth, and has a great blog to help educate others on these things.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

3 more weeks?

Just thought I should start off clarifying that the pregnancy ticker on the right side of this blog is incorrect. I wish I only had 3 days until my EDD but in actuality I have 7. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel at this point! The most I have left is 3 weeks from today!!
Since I'm trying for a VBAC3C I can't be induced. It raises the (very very slight) risk of uterin rupture when you pump the artificial hormones (pitocin) in to induce labor. So, we have to let it take place completely naturally. I was getting really discouraged bc while I had mentally prepared this entire time to go to 42 weeks and have a 10 lb baby (and anything less would be great!) everyone around me keeps making the "theres no way you can make it to 40 weeks" remarks. So, I started thinking hey maybe I'll have this baby early. But, so such luck. We even went walking one night last week at 7 pm when it was still 103 degrees outside. Talk about desperation. We walked a 1.25 miles in that heat! Well the girls rode their bikes, Derek and I walked. Anyways, no amount of walking, evening prime rose oil or anything else seems to be kicking me into labor.
I was kinda discouraged the other day after my Drs appt, (I mean c'mon who really wants to be scheduling their 40 week appt?!?) but as Derek and I were talking the Lord suddenly (ha) reminded me of Phillipians 4:6-7.

6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I love how the Lord will remind you of the most perfect scripture at the most perfect times! Ive been listening to everyone else and letting the anxiety of when labor will happen creep in. But here the Lord reminds me not to do that. To trust in Him, pray about it and His peace will fill me. I'll take it Lord!!! So, now we wait...patiently. Remembering that we gave this pregnancy to Him in the first place. Knowing that when I got pregnant it would be in HIS perfect why would I think that this baby wont come in His perfect timing as well?! I guess if that means I'm pregnant for another 3 weeks then so be it. I guess that also means that I trust that if Owen doesnt come in the next 3 weeks and I have to end up with a repeat c-section the Lord is still in control and knows best. He knows that there are man made laws my Dr has to abide by even if he doesnt think theyre right. I think that would officially fall into the "not wanting to trust" category for me though. But, God knows how bad I want to VBA3C, so I'll just trust.....and wait.