The Desires of Our Hearts.

I just wanted to share this with everyone because I really had to examine my own heart and motives on my hearts biggest desire right now. So, I hope this will be an encouragement to someone. I wrote this as an thread discussion on a VBAC support group I am apart of. For the most part I'm copying and pasting it. But I wanted to share on here whats on my heart.


In our Bible study class on Sunday mornings we're going through the book of James. This morning we focused on James 4:1-6. While those, on a whole, have nothing to do with the desires of your heart there is one verse that does. Starting at the end of James 4:2 and continuing through verse 3 here is what it says: You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. We then discussed Ps 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart
So, firstly it tells us to ask of the Lord what we want. He wants us to petition Him. But then it says you ask and do not receive bc your motives are impure. In other words if your asking for something and its purpose is not in glorifying the Lord then your motives are impure. The Word also tells us EVERYTHING we do should glorify the Father. As an example, we want a new car. When we're asking bc we just want the new car for a material reason, or to feel better about ourselves or to keep up with the Jones' those are impure motives. But if we're asking bc we need a new car or bc we want to give our existing car away to bless another family who needs it, those are pure motives. Theyre not self focused motives. That is what vs 4 is talking about. But, like Ps 37 states when we delight ourselves in the Him He will then gives us the desires of our hearts. First we have to delight in the Lord. THat HAS to be our main focus, then when we petition Him our motives should be pure. Bc we delight in Him our heart has the desires that He has. Make sense?
So, how does this have to do with VBACing you ask? LOL Here is where/how It spoke to me. We can claim Ps 37:4 all we want, but if we're claiming it and not intending on glorifying the Lord with the outcome we have impure motives. If we're claiming it but refuse to have peace about the outcome, knowing its all in the Lords hands, if it doesnt happen OUR way, then we have impure motives. Now, thats not to say we wont struggle with the results, that is where our flesh can take over. But as long as we're truly desiring Gods outcome then we have the right motives.
So, I had to really search my heart to find the true reason of why I want a VBAC. Is it bc I want to feel like a "real" woman and give birth vaginally? Is it bc I dont want to mess with the long recovery time? Is it bc I want more kids in the future so every time I'm having a c/s that could be my last and I dont want that? Those are just some of the motives that come to mind for me. Or is it ultimately bc I want this whole process, whatever the outcome, to glorify the Lord? I want to be able to have a successful VBAC and be able to say " Look how awesome my God is!!! He allowed a successful VBAC when the odds were against me medically! They (others, not my Dr, lol) said my babies are too big and Im too small I cant physically have them. They said I couldnt have one bc its too big of a risk after 3 c/s. But look what my God did!!!" or even be at peace with saying "I brought my petition before the Lord. I prayed for His will to be done and while I didn't get the VBAC I wanted, I can fully trust in the Lord knowing He heard my cry and had what was best for me and the baby happen. I can have peace in this outcome." Both responses would be glorifying the Lord, ya know?
Anyways, I just wanted to share that with yall and hopefully be an encouragement to everyone or someone (the Lord knows who needs to hear it) bc after our discussion this morning and examining my heart I felt so at peace with everything.

I needed a happy post

Since my last 2 posts have been a bit intense I decided I needed to post a happy post. So, here are some pictures that make me smile :) Thank you Lord for my girls!

Galveston July 2008

Moody Gardens
Look how fat she was!!!! Look at those thighs! This makes me smile not bc she looks so cute in it but bc she looks hilarious!

This is July 2007....Audrey was still baking at this point. Elisa would still wear bows and theyre each with their lovies!

Audrey found the girls laundry basket. I love her expression!

I took this the other day. I was aiming for a cute posed picture. This is what I got. Hilarious.

Audrey was sick and so she cuddled with Ava to watch a movie. She typically wont lay down and watch a movie for very long.

What is happening here?

I wont get into everything...that could get long. But I wanted to touch on a few things happening right now in American politics. Why is this important to me? Because this is our great country and we are losing it right before our eyes. We have to start standing up for what we believe in for the our children and our childrens childrens future and save the great nation of America as it was founded by our fore fathers. If we just sit back and do nothing we will lose what our ancestors fought so hard to achieve and protect! That is why its so important.
Derek and I decided to take TV out of our house so the news and information we get isnt based on left wing liberal mass media outlets like CNN or MSNBC. Even the local stations tend to fall into the mighty worship at the alter of the left wing liberals, so they're slanted as well. We keep ourselves informed through internet news outlets and radio talk shows, which are much better information outlets than any cable stations.

First, up for nomination for the Secretary of Health and Human Services is the Governor of Kansas Kathleen Sebelius. If you dont know anything about Gov Kathleen let me inform you a little bit. She has one of the most radical pro-abortion records of any elected official and a longstanding relationship with a late-term abortion practitioner. She vetoed a bill last April that had been approved by the legislature that would have strengthened the state's limits on late-term abortions. She meddled with an investigation in the death of Christin Gilbert, who died from a botched abortion at Tiller's Wichita clinic in January, 2005. And in 2007 she attended a Planned Parenthood fundraiser on her birthday in May, where CEO Peter Brownlie led a conga-line dance in her honor during the party. Mr Brownlie's clinic was later charged with 107 criminal counts of conducting illegal late-term abortions. So, its more than obvious of the close relationship she has with the abortion industry and those in the abortion industry. Do we really need or want someone who is that pro-abortion in charge of the Health and Human Services of America??
Please take a minute to go to this link and send an email to your local reps and let them no that you do NOT want this lady in that office.

http://www.pointofview.net/site/PageServer?pagename=Block_The_Appointment_of_Sebelius

Secondly, have you heard that Obama wants our injured Veterans to pay for their own treatment?!?! Yes, you read that right! The new President wants our veterans who served this country and sacrificed their physical health or limbs or mental health to pay for their own treatment. Mr Obama has proposed that private insurance companies pay for the treatment of military veterans who have suffered service-connected disabilities and injuries. The Obama administration recently revealed a plan to require private insurance carriers to reimburse the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) in such cases. He says he's trying to generate $540-million through this proposal. So Mr President let me get this straight you are proposing nearly 3 TRILLION dollars in spending but you want our injured Vets, who willing served our country to pay for their own service related injuries so you can generate money back to the government?!? You want to help people who aren't paying their mortgages by giving them money and helping them to catch up, but you want our own vets to pay for their injuries?!?! The same people who got mortgages way out of their price range based on future incomes and to keep up with the Joneses, but somehow its the mortgage companies faults only and so those people get "free" money. Here (click the word here for the link) is an article about the American Legions strong opposition to this proposed plan.


And I'll stop with this.....did you know Obama has disarmed our airline pilots?? After 9/11 pilots were given the right to carry concealed handguns as protection for themselves and the flight. But now President Obama has quietly taken away that protection. The article about this can be found at, surprisingly, the Washington Post. (click there) (Whos side is this man on!?!??!?!?!?!!??!

The First Step...Mind Control

*****Warning if you're a strong supporter of America's public education system you might be offended if you read any further. My suggsetion would be to STOP here. :) **************

Derek and I watched The Boy in the Striped Pajamas last night. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Its a very sad movie but worth the watch.
As I was watching I couldn't help but see what could be the future of America. I know I know, it might seem far fetched to some. So, let me help you in understanding what I mean.
First, with the current administration and with the control the NEA seems to have over them there is a fear that one day homeschooling would become illegal. The President has said he would like to see that all people teaching children must be accredited. Well, this might sound harmless and even good on the outside but think about it. The implication is accredited in every subject they teach. So, as homeschooling mothers unless we're "accredited" in every subject required by law to teach we wont be able to teach our children. I dont know one homeschooling mother who would be "qualified" under that new law to teach their own children. (The children they themselves birthed mind you!!) And since when is it the govnts place to tell ME I can't teach MY own children!? And to take it a step further...think that private and Christian schools would be safe? Nope, because the govt will decide what the terms of accreditation are and so subjects like Bible would then be in control of the government. Seems like an oxymoron to me. So, basically every avenue of learning would be under the control of the govt.
So, look at it like this. If I'm schooling my children at home, and they're not under the schooling of a government funded and controlled education system then that same system really doesn't have control of what my children are being taught. If they dont have that brainwashing, I mean controlling ability then they can't guarantee the loyalty of those children not under their control. Make sense?
In Nazi Germany it was illegal for children NOT to be enrolled in a govt run school. Why would this be so important? Well, they couldn't indoctrinate the children with Nazi brainwashing if they didn't have control of their minds and what they were being taught. They wouldn't be able to brainwash the German children into thinking that all Jews were evil and weren't even human if they didnt have control of their learning environment (at least) 8 hours a day. They wouldn't have been able to "teach" them that they were "regaining their fatherland" by riding Germany of all Jews. Basically, they wouldn't have been able to brainwash the future and upcoming German population into obedience and support had they not had the minds of the children!
The earlier a controlling force (be it a government or whatever) has control of the minds of the children the better the outcome of their plans. The last thing that controlling force wants is the children to be kept at home, with those children's own parents morals and value systems being instilled in them. So whats the best plan of action that controlling force can take? Make sure the kids CAN NOT be kept out of their education system and get control of them as young as possible!
This whole subject really does scare me. I know we have not been given a spirit of fear but to think that in my children's lifetime they will be forced to be under the mind control and education of a government who I disagree with....well that's just scary!
As a side note. Did you know about these detention centers already built here in the US? You can also google detention centers and get different articles. They were built under the guise of controlling a mass crossing from the Mexican border into the US. But many sites also mention use of them during a natural disaster or a point in time where martial law needs to be enacted. Think of all the other possibilities....what about using them to "house" a portion of population with contradicting and opposing beliefs then the current administration? That's what the Nazi's did. Just a thought.....
Now go rent The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. :)

This is delish!

Those were the exact words that came out of Elisa's mouth when she tasted this yummy treat!



What? It doesnt look good to you!? Ohhh but it is ever so tasty! Want the recipe? Well here ya go!

Fruit and Oat Bars
1 C all-purpose flour
1 C uncooked quick oats
3/4 C packed light brown sugar
1/2 t baking soda
1/4 t salt
1/4 t ground cinnamon
1/3 C margarine or butter, melted
3/4 C any flavor fruit preserves (we used strawberry)

1. Preheat over to 350 degrees. Spray 9 inch square baking pan with nonstick cooking spray; set aside.

2. Combine flour, oats, brown sugar, baking soda, salt and cinnamon in medium bowl; mix well. Add margarine; stir with fork until mixture is crumbly. Reserve 3/4 C crumb mixture for topping. Press remaining crumb mixture evenly onto bottom of prepared pan. Bake 5 to 7 minutes or until lightly browned. Spread preserves onto crust; sprinkle with reserved crumb mixture.

3. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Cool completely in pan on wire rack. Cut into squares.

Can be stored individually wrapped at room temp up to 3 days or freeze up to 1 month!

ENJOY!

Away with the ugly hair!

So, its been too long since I posted...and I dont really know what to blog about. It needs to be something "light". While I would love to get into something political, I dont really feel like it right now, lol.
So I decided to show my new hair. First you should know that I got my haircut back in Dec. It was grown out from being the cute little angled bob that every other lady in America had (or still has). Since the sides were so much longer than the back I told her I wanted it even all the way around, keeping as much length as possible with slight layering throughout to add volume. I paid about $50 for the haircut, so it wasnt a cheap place, so I expected her to be able to "create" what I wanted. Well, instead I got the Rachel cut from 1994. Ugh!!! I can usually just go with haircuts that arent what I envisioned, but this was just AWFUL. I call it the awful mom cut, and to make matters worse (in the haircut sense) Im pregnant so the first area to gain weight is my face. So I dont need a bad haircut framing my ever growing face!!! Then, no one (that would be my dear hubby or my sweet mom or close friends) told me how awful my hair color was!! I had it highlighted with my cute bob, but had since done an all over brown. Well that had faded so I had darkened highlights twd the bottom of my hair along with a faded dyed brown section and then my natural brown roots. Nice. Just call me the lady with the bad roots. (Thats an inside joke for Derek)
Well, since the hair stylest cut one layer around my face right to about my chin I decided it would be best to wait a month or two and let it grow out, live with the awful haircut and then once that layer was a bit longer...go back and get it recut. Since one of the benefits of taking prenatal vitamins is faster growing hair, I knew I wouldnt have to wait too long. So, I decided today was the day to finally end my hair misery!! And as icing on the cake my parents had a coupon for half off a haircut at the place I usually go. Score! So, here is a before. (Please dont judge me by my awful hair)
The left side gives you the best example of the cut. Seriously just remember the super popular Rachel cut from the peak of Friends. I promise thats exactly what it was like!
Here is my new haircut! I also dyed it brown again last week! Ohhh I like it sooo much better!!! Its amazing how a silly little haircut can make you feel about yourself. Lets just say I feel MUCH better now!

And the best dad of the year award goes to.....

What do you get when you send your husband to the grocery store after work?

This morning I was complaining about having to go grocery shopping once Derek got home. So, my dear, sweet hubby offered to go on his way home. (what a sweet guy!) I emailed him a list of things we needed for the next few days and included "get something sweet" That would be singular, correct? Anyways, we NEVER keep junk food around the house. If its here we'll eat it. So why even keep it around? If theres no option of chips and cookies then the girls wont ask for it. Instead they are happy to eat fresh fruit and veggies for snacks. So anyways, Derek walks in the door with a bag of groceries. Ava goes out to help him get some more bags while Elisa and I start unpacking the bags already in the house. Ava comes in super excited about the Capri Suns she saw in a bag. (in his defense I did include juice boxes or capri suns bc we have to take our lunches places the next 3 days) Then we start unpacking the rest of the bags. As the girls see whats inside the bags they get more and more excited. They were screaming "youre the best dad in the whole world!!" "Thank you daddy!!!" I was laughing so hard bc Im lthinking yeah now theyre gonna want you to do the shopping from now on, lol. So my one sweet item request turns into all of this JUNK!!! We gave up cokes only to include that stuff in our diet?!?! I dont even want to know how much I will have gained at my next appt!

Now...off to feed my sweet tooth ;)